Shay Seaborne, CPTSD 🧠 #TraumaAwareAmerica

The statute of limitations protects the Coastie who sexually assaulted me after a rescue at sea. There will be no criminal prosecution for his sexualized violence against a civilian he was charged to protect. However, there is a possibility of some accountability, depending on how serious the CO considers sexualized violence among his ranks. Therefore, I sent the following to the CO with a request that the perp should have to listen to this read aloud by a female superior officer. Whether or not he hears it, I’ve said what I need to say:

“You may have thought you could dominate and control me with your despicable actions the morning of March 2, 2017, but you were sorely mistaken. I write to you with a clarity born of resilience and a fury fueled by betrayal. You committed not only a heinous act of sexualized violence but a profound abuse of power, a violation of trust, and an affront to the very principles upon which the United States Coast Guard claims to stand.

You slammed your misplaced rage onto my body through sexualized violence because you crave your targets’ fear, relishing your ability to manipulate and exploit. You mistook me for your typical target. But, I refuse to be silent. I stand strong with nothing but courage and the unyielding truth: you are a pathetic exploiter, a bully. You are no different from the sexual predators who have harmed me in the past. Your motivations, your tactics, and your cowardice are all cut from the same rotten cloth.

Your reprehensible conduct reveals a disturbing lack of self-control and a depraved indifference to the well-being of others. Your impulse for sexualized violence demonstrates not only a disregard for human decency but also a deep-seated pathology that requires urgent intervention. I implore you to seek professional help, undergo thorough screening for mental health issues, and embark on a journey of rehabilitation before you perpetrate further harm.

In my studies of abusive power and sexualized violence, I’ve learned the motivation is to be temporarily relieved of the effects of one own one’s own experience of exploitation at the hands of those in positions of power. As long as you are planning, executing, and gloating over your sexualized violence conquests, you are putting a Band-Aid on your natural and normal experience of pain through betrayed trust. The abuse of others is like a drug in that it temporarily relieves your internal distress and you need more and more of it to do so. Because like opiates, street drugs, alcohol, workaholicism, or any addiction, it doesn’t address the core issue, only temporarily relieves some symptoms, with blowback.

I have a deep disdain for perpetrators like you, who abuse their positions of power to violate the trust of others, exploiting vulnerabilities for their sick satisfaction. I pity you for the profound disconnect you exhibit from your humanity and from that of those you are sworn to protect. Your actions betray a pattern of cruelty and contempt, likely rooted in your own experiences of exploitation and abuse. You are less powerful than you think; to threaten me, you had to ensure I was broadsided in a highly disadvantaged position. But to threaten you, all I had to do was tell the truth.

I harbor no illusions about the systemic failures that shield perpetrators like you from accountability. The very system designed to protect civilians and uphold justice has failed me, has failed countless others, and will continue to fail. However, I wield the tools at my disposal—my words, courage, and determination—to expose your deeds, demand accountability, and challenge the structures of power that enable perpetrators like you.

Though legal recourse is unavailable due to the statute of limitations, administrative remedies remain. Speaking the truth, I reclaim my agency and power, one defiant word at a time as I utilize every available avenue to demand accountability and expose your crimes. Your days of preying on the vulnerable may have escaped legal consequences, but your legacy shall forever carry the stench of shame and disgrace.

Your power is not genuine; it’s rooted in greed and a lust for control, all born of dysfunction. The distinction between us is clear: I possess the power to enact change, while yours is fleeting, illusory, and comes back to bite you. By holding you accountable, I reclaim my power. It may not dismantle the system, but it reshapes the dynamic between us.

You made a grave mistake in sexually assaulting me and underestimating my capacity to respond. Your foolishness now comes full circle. Blowback was inevitable. May you long enjoy.”