Author Archives: Shay

Cuckoo’s Nest, Day 1

“What am I doing here? I hate it so far. Noisy, institutional. No real comforts, shitty pillow, cold room, can’t see through the window. I don’t even have personal care items, like soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothbrush, and toothpaste. So here … Continue reading

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Enter the Cuckoo’s Nest

Me, four years ago tonight, at the cusp of what would turn out to be a horrible turn of events: “I’m having serious problems with my SSRI medication and I need to talk to a doctor. Increasing suicidal ideations, wish … Continue reading

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The Cuckoo’s Nest lives

Four years ago this month I was in a cuckoo’s nest! I’ve been working on trauma recovery for over 20 years. Unfortunately, some of the worst damage to my nervous system occurred through the so-called “standard treatment” for PTSD when … Continue reading

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Can’t we just run away from our trauma?

Can’t we just ignore or run away from our trauma? I tried! I quit my whole other life. Fledged my young adult children, sold and gave away my stuff, fixed up the house, sold it out a major loss, and … Continue reading

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Open letter to Delaware Division of Professional Regulation

A medical procedure begins with consent. Without consent, it is not medical treatment. It is abuse. The state police said the licensing board determines whether the surgeon’s non-consensual cutting of my genitals was a crime or medicine. A medical procedure … Continue reading

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Don’t “flip your lid,” down-regulate!

How does regulating the nervous system help sufferers of trauma and chronic stress? What is the “window of tolerance” and how can we widen ours? What happens in our brains when we “flip our lid” and how can we avoid … Continue reading

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The myth of self-regulation

Healing from trauma requires co-regulation with regulated nervous systems, particularly for those who experienced Developmental Trauma, which most often occurs in relationships. We are MADE to co-regulate. Wired for it. Co-regulation is a biological imperative. That means we cannot survive … Continue reading

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America’s “standard treatment” for childhood trauma: more abuse and neglect

If you had “good enough” parents you were blessed with a fairly regulated nervous system, integrated brain, and secure attachment style. These contribute greatly to a sense of well-being from which health arises and a good life can unfold. If  … Continue reading

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How Do Predatory Physicians Get Away With Their Crimes for Years or Decades?

Without my knowledge or consent, a surgeon cut an approximately 2″ x 2″ piece of healthy tissue from my genitals while I was unconscious. This surprise disfigurement of my body caused deep and lasting harm. No unintentional deviation from a … Continue reading

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“Like Larry Nassar running with scissors”

After almost three years of recovery efforts following a brutal violation, I’m able to speak up and take action regarding the urogynecologist who sexually assaulted me with sharp instruments when he intentionally performed non-consensual surgery to remove healthy tissue from … Continue reading

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